Who's agenda are you following?

I’m sitting here writing this out in my courtyard, enjoying the beautiful warm sunshine – it feels like spring! I’ve been pondering about this little blog space of mine, wondering what I should be writing about, who I am writing to, what the purpose of this writing even is. And I’ve come to realise that it is actually so much like my process of painting and maybe that is why it has been so hard for me to put my finger on exactly why I am doing it, or what I should write about specifically – it just unfolds, in whatever way feels right and authentic and natural. It is about learning and listening and sharing (I will never pretend I have it all covered and got it all together - but I will share the thoughts and lessons that come up for me, the things I wrestle and battle with, as well as the things that inspire me and bring me joy). But anyway, I have been thinking about it, and thinking about what little snippets of my life I share here. I used to worry about whether it would be interesting enough or eloquent enough, whether these little stories would matter or mean anything to anyone at all – but what I have learnt through the process of writing and painting (whether I’ve felt like it or not, whether I’ve been able to find the “right” words, or not) is that all those little worries and concerns are actually NOT my concern. They should never be what motivates me to write or paint or live. My job is to show up, and to let the process of painting or writing or teaching or whatever it may be that I am doing tell the story that needs telling. I’m not the one to say whether it should or should not be the way it is…or whether it is or is not "good", I simply need to let it be and trust that there is purpose to everything we do in life.

Is there parts of your life that where you feel like this? Where you may need to remind yourself that it is not your job to worry and be concerned about the whys and who’s and what ifs? Maybe you need to remind yourself that there is a bigger picture to what you are doing. Our ego is brilliant at telling us that we are not worth it, that we are not interesting enough or that what we are being called to do doesn’t make enough “sense” or is too “unrealistic” – and especially that we need to know where we are heading (sound familiar?!). When we begin to identify and acknowledge our souls agenda – rather than our ego’s agenda! – it becomes much easier to navigate our path, to listen to the messages we need to hear, to read the signs that are all around us and to do the work we are meant to do (whether it makes “sense” or not). And sometimes it is helpful to remember that being in the PRESENT moment, is all that we are called to do. Do what you are called to do TODAY, without worrying about where it will lead you. This is your story to write, and it is totally ok for your story to change as it unravels – tomorrow, in a year, in five years, your story might be drastically different. Be you, today. And go where your heart leads you, today, knowing there is a bigger picture that you are in the process of painting with each moment of each day.

peace, love, joy and gratitude...


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© 2018 by Meredith Mallin. All rights reserved.